Youz in Maryland talk funny... The "Merlin" Dialect

The Merlin Dialect is spoken by a mixed population which inhabits a triangular area on the western littoral of the Chesapeake Bay, bounded roughly by a line commencing at Towson's Toyota, then westward to the Frederick Mall, thence following the western border of the cable TV franchise and the string of McDonald's along Route 50 to the Bay.

All of these lands and the natives thereof are known as the Land of Merlin. They divide it further into semi--tribal areas called "Cannies" (e.g., Ballmer Canny, PeeGee Canny, Muntgumry Canny, Hard Canny, etc.).

The dialect area is centered on a market center called Glimburny, there the people come on weekends to trade their goods. Because of the numerous words and phrases common to both Merlin Dialect and modern English, linguists have long postulated that there is some kinship between the two.

Speakers of Merlin Dialect are all able to understand standard English from babyhood, chiefly because of their voracious appetite for television. However, they invariably refuse to speak standard English, even with outsiders who obviously cannot understand a word they say.

Lesson 1 Vocabulary

Ballmer -- Our city

Merlin -- Our State

Arn ---- What you do to wrinkled clothes

Bulled Egg -- An egg cooked in water

Chest Peak -- A large body of water nearby

Colleyflare -- A white vegetable

Downey Owe Shin -- Summertime destination "down to the ocean"
(such as Ayshun City)

Droodle Pork -- Druid Hill Park

Faren Gins -- Red trucks that put out fires

Flicktid -- A word only Merlin natives have ever heard of or
used. Possibly deriving from the word "afflicted" taken from standard
english (ex. "Shut up. Yor jist flicktid!)

Hi Hon -- How we always say "hello"

Hode Ooon -- When a secretary puts you on hold.

Holluntown -- Highland Town

Nap Lis -- Capital of the state of Merlin

Ole Bay -- What our crabs taste like

Oreos -- Our baseball team

Payment -- That strip of cement that you walk on

PohLeese -- Those guys in uniform that git ya when you're speedin'

Share -- What you take in the morning to get you clean

Flares -- Tulips, roses, etc.

Tarred -- How you feel when you work too hard

Warsh -- What we do with dirty clothes

Warter -- What we drink (aka "Wooter")

Winders -- Those glass things that we look out of

Paramore -- Power mower

Brawl -- Broil

Sem Elem -- Seven Eleven

Allanic -- an ocean

Arnjuice -- from the sunshine tree

Arouwn in all directions -- norf, souf, ees, and wes

Aspern -- what you take for headaches

Bald -- the way some people like their eggs

Bawler -- what the plumber calls your furnace

Beeno -- a famous railroad

Calf Lick -- as in "bleevers are Protestant, Jewish, and ..."

Canny -- a state gubmit division, such as Montgomery, Anne Arundel or Prince George's

Drooslem -- city in the Holy Land

Duddeney -- "He sure does, duddeney?

Err -- a time measurement of 60 minutes

Far place -- where we burn wood

Fard -- area between the eyes and the hairline

Farmin -- the people who fight fars

Ford -- opposite of backward

Idnit -- "It is, idnit?"

Ignernt -- ignorant

Klumya -- Rouse's new city (Columbia)

Meer -- what you see your reflection in

Mudnlaw -- the woman who's married to your fodlaw

Natty Boh -- Beer

Norf Abnew -- North Avenue

Numb -- conjunctive 1st person pronoun: "Aw've bin workin six
errors numb tarred."

Plooshin -- let's get it out of the Cheaspeake

Sarn -- what a Pleece Car or Farn Gin makes noise with

Slong -- "good-bye"

Spearmint -- experiment

Warshnin -- our nation's capital

Wooder -- what you wrench your hands with

Yerp -- Europe

Youz -- you all

Zinc -- where you wrench your hands or wash your dishes

Lesson 2. Oral Exercises

Listen and Repeat:

Merlin: Ah herd sarns at sod the hass a bat hunnert toms lass not. Itsem Ann Earl Canny farn gins.

Standard: I heard sirens outside the house about a hundred times last night. It's those Anne Arundel County fire engines.

Merlin: She raider boskle from Droodle Pork to dantan Ballmer wither ahz clewzed.

Standard: She rode her bicycle from Druid Hill Park to downtown Baltimore with her eyes closed.

Merlin: The Hard Canny Toms sayz the canny cancel pace pained bon ambalances.

Standard: The Howard County Times says the County Council postponed buying ambulances.

Merlin: Pitcher bane seat owen. Weer goon danny ayshun.

Standard: Put your bathing suit on. We're going down to the ocean.

Merlin: Ah sawn ambalance good dan Rosters Tan Raid a bat a huunert molls an air, nit was porn dan rain.

Standard: I saw an ambulance going down Reisterstown Road about a hundred miles an hour, and it was pouring down rain.

Merlin: It spaced a snaid mora. Better pitcher snay tars owen.

Standard: It's supposed to snow tomorrow. Better put your snow tires on.

What do Marylanders do for a big night out?
They eat crabs and then go Duckpin Bowling! (And talk about going to "da beach"!)

The MD Dialect

You know you're from DC

Road Rules of DC

Montgomery County Barbies

Maryland's strangest laws

Gotta be a Marylander to fully appreciate this...