Maryland's strangest and dumbest laws...

Thistles may not grow in one's yard.

Oral sex can not be given or received anywhere.

In Baltimore, it is illegal to wash or scrub sinks, no matter how dirty they get.

Every person who has bowled since 1833 may be fined $2 for each offence.

In Hale Thorpe, it is illegal to kiss for more than one second.

It's illegal to mistreat oysters.

It's illegal to play Randy Newman's "Short People" on the radio.

In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises."

Currently, assaulting a police dog in Maryland earns a felony crime charge while the assault of a police officer only earns a misdemeanor... even if the officer is disabled for life.

A Maryland law outlaws "female sitters, also known as shills," women paid by owners to sit in their bars and encourage male patrons to buy drinks.

Stupid City Laws in Maryland


It's illegal to throw bales of hay from a second-story window within the city limits.

It's illegal to take a lion to the movies.

It is a park rule violation to be in a public park with a sleeveless shirt.

No person who is a "tramp" or "vagrant" shall loiter in any park at any time.

It is a violation of city code to sell chicks or ducklings to a minor within 1 week of the Easter holiday.

Baltimore City
Though you may spit on a city roadway, spitting on city sidewalks is prohibited.

You may not curse inside the city limits.


It is illegal to use profane language on a playground.

Knocking stones into a public park is prohibited.

Persons may not swear while on the highway.
(everyone on 270 would be arrested during rush hour.)

It is illegal to remove a public building by writing on it. (?)

Citizens may not swim in the public fountains within the city limits.

You can not have a antenna exposed outside of your house yet you can have a 25' satellite dish.

Though clotheslines are banned, clothes may be draped over a fence.

Ocean City
A law from the early 1900's prohibits men from going topless on the Boardwalk. (Repealed)

Eating while swimming in the ocean is prohibited.

Got any more? Email them to me!

The MD Dialect

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Road Rules of DC

Montgomery County Barbies

Maryland's strangest laws

Gotta be a Marylander to fully appreciate this...