Marriage Tips from around the world

Add your Marriage Tip here

TRUST, TRUST, TRUST... I can't tell you how important that is in a married relationship. I work away from home 3/6 months of the year & give my wife & she gives me no reason not to trust the other. That and still being totally nuts about each other 7.9yrs on... Friendship & telling each other EVERYTHING, we have no secrets, not one....sounds weird, but that is the utter basis for complete trust. At the beginning it was really hard to do this, but so far so good, it's paying off in the most marvelous relationship I have ever been in.
Warren B. <wbackler@telus.net>
Vancouver, BC Canada - Saturday, May 05, 2007 at 09:01:25 (EDT)

you say those 3 little words that mean so much to them "I was wrong" Remember, its better to be happy, than right. 25 years and counting
G.F. <gfennema@yahoo.com>
FDL, Wi USA - Monday, February 12, 2007 at 15:11:59 (EST)

Hello, Acctually I don't have tips I am acctually in desperate need of some advice.. My wife moved out recently, she said she doesn't love me anymore, that flame isn't there. she doesn't have anyone else, ( i've confirmed that with people) she said she just wants to be alone and work to achieve the things she wants.. my failures have been, lack on providing a few things that she needs, kind of an instability.. that I now have. And that I am too "Posesive" according to her.. now I don't feel that on my part, she has a lot of friends. some of which are guys and I don't like it sometimes because of how they are. on her end, she's much of the time lacking respect, doesn't like to communicate with me. Now she doesn't want to See me, she got rid of her Cell phone, so that people don't bother her, and she just wants to be alone.. what I need to do is get her to talk to me, maybe over dinner at a restaurant or just over coffee or something. what do i need to do to get her to do that? I DO call her at work, she doesn't mind as long as I don't call her every day.. I sent her a Giant Greeting Card with someone, she didn't want to take it and kept saying no no no, but she didn't try very hard to give it back.. I was watching from outside and she was smiling and opening it (it was rolled up ) after we left and drove back around just to see. what is a good way.. non intrusve way to be able to get her to talk to me, when she is a dificult person to talk to?
Anon
nowhere, no USA - Friday, October 13, 2006 at 12:03:51 (EDT)

We often hear other marrieds (and non-marrieds) compare themselves to what you have or are doing. It goes something like this: "Your husband gave you that little bracelet for your anniverary? My husband gave me this 2 carat ring and so on and so on. Or "You take that from him? I'd never put up with anything like that." My rule: Don't compare or listen to trash talk. Expect your relationship to be different than your friend's, your neighbor's, etc. Don't let others diminish your relationsip through their insensitivity and thoughtlessness.
s.s. <annasanders1790@yahoo.com>
east lansing, mi USA - Monday, October 02, 2006 at 15:46:48 (EDT)

Marriage is not only a commitment to your loved one, but to yourself. The commitment to yourself is that you will rise to the occasion of placing others as a priority rather than yourself. Look, when you were a kid and a young adult - it was all about you... school, lunches, soccer, swim, xmas, easter, halloween - need I go on. So now you've extended your team to include another - for you to succeed you need to nourish your partner with support, trust, and encouragement - for one day - it will be returned in kind when you are not 100%. Marriage is a bank - you only get out of it what you placed in, but your investment will grow or diminish proportional to your contribution. Oh ya, "No she doesn't look fat!"
Rick Ricker <defendit@1esc.com>
Newport Beach, CA USA - Friday, September 29, 2006 at 14:05:51 (EDT)

When the urge to conquer overcomes you, consider if the issue is really worth the fight. Sometimes it is better to be happy than right.
Lauren Casey <stories@lovelessons.org>
Tampa, FL USA - Wednesday, August 02, 2006 at 14:54:57 (EDT)

I think that people today view marriage too loosely. Its become more of a trend than anything. I got married at 16 years old. I am now 21 and proud of every day of the past 6 years. (We dated for a year before marriage) A lot of people told us we wouldnt last 6 months. The key to our success lies on several things. Trust, forgiveness, faith, and holding on to the small things that make each other feel truly loved. Its not easy and we've both had days when we wanted to just throw our hands up and quit. But anytime things get rough, we look at our lives without the other and know that it would be empty.
TCS <anonymous>
SC USA - Tuesday, July 25, 2006 at 00:41:37 (EDT)

The Prophet on Marriage by Khalil Gibran Then Almitra spoke again and said... "And what of Marriage, master?" And he answered saying: You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore. You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days. Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God. But let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another, but make not a bond of love. Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together, yet not too near together. For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.
Tosho <da_tosho@hotmail.com>
Sofia, BG - Sunday, June 18, 2006 at 16:34:36 (EDT)

Married 23.5 years, both our parents stayed married all their lives - through thick and thin, and his grandparents as well. Nice legacy, eh? My advice: Go ahead and fight, it is necessary sometimes, but don't be mean. If you love that person you wouldn't be mean. Get it out, spill your guts, rant and rave through every room of the house if need be, but when you are done and the moment has passed, and you see your partner's side of it, and your heart is tendered, apologize, hug, be affectionate, make up, absolutely banish that pride. Passionate people are "passionate" (loud, emotional, opinionated, physical, animated, and articulate) people - and as is our case, opposites attract! This causes friction sometimes, but it also creates interest. I don't have everything in common with my spouse. I love that he has friends and interests that don't involve me. I have interests that bore him to tears. We allow each other to have our own time, but neither of us allows those things to take up ALL our time. We do have common interests and we make time to share in them together. We spend our Saturdays together, going to breakfast, hitting garage sales, picking up reading material, walking through antique malls/shops, running errands, picking up something to cook together that afternoon, doing things around the house, watching movies, going bowling, talking and hanging out. It gives us time to discuss things; share the stresses of life; journey through our shared faith, political views, and whatever else; and share our hopes and dreams (and how we would spend the money if we won the lottery). And one more thing... tell him he is the sexiest man alive, that he smells soooo good, and that he makes you feel safe. Do it every day. And tell her that she is the love of your life, the hottest babe on the planet, the reason you have survived to this point. Grab her up and kiss her passionately every once in a while, and help her wash the dishes.
Colleen
WY USA - Saturday, June 10, 2006 at 01:29:33 (EDT)

Wow what a wonderful website. My ace marriage tip is to accept the things that are important to your spouse and that make them feel loved. My husband feels loved if he feels that I am more than happy to fix him something to eat whenever he's hungry. It sounds simple but we have five kids, (I've always got my hands full.) however it's important to me because it's important to him. So he always feels loved and so do I.
Julie Ann
Staffordshire, Great Britain - Sunday, May 21, 2006 at 16:50:05 (EDT)

Hang in there you will have many ups and downs. But any thing worth having isn't easy. Main thing is to communicate to each other on a daily bases.Married for 26 years. This 08/11/2006 would be 27 years.
Charlie/Libby Moody <lib2b0957@yahoo.com>
Brunswick, Ga. USA - Thursday, March 30, 2006 at 23:22:31 (EST)

Hang in there you will have many ups and downs. But any thing worth having isn't easy. May thing is to communicate to each other on a daily bases.Married for 26 years. This 08/11/2006 would be 27 years.
Charlie/Libby Moody <lib2b0957@yahoo.com>
Brunswick, Ga. USA - Thursday, March 30, 2006 at 23:21:49 (EST)

Love is the strangest and most wonderful thing, in my youth i was a professional in the government and my job was to do things others would not. I never told my wife of these things but she knew that what i did was hard, through the years the trust that grew between us was like nothing i have ever esperienced. I was a cold callused killer in my youth, she changed all that, showed me that god forgives all and that love heals all wounds, she cured me of the devil drink and helped my put the peices of my life togethor after the hell that was vietnam. After nearly 40 years we still feel as strongly as we did on the docks of sydney town in 1966. True love endures all and i am privledged that i have found it and that she and god forgave me of my sins.
Ian Mcginn <carey.mudge@gmail.com>
Melbourne, Vic Australia - Saturday, December 24, 2005 at 04:18:39 (EST)

Hold on to the person with whom you can communicate without words, simply through holding their hand.
Lisa
Peterborough, ON Canada - Tuesday, December 06, 2005 at 04:04:22 (EST)

I'm not married but I have read the types and agree with most and will walk away with some new found knowledge. Open communication is definately key and so is a great sense of humour. Don't be with someone who takes themselves too seriously. Stick with those you make you laugh, you'll always feel younger. Don't cry for someone who won't cry for you.
Kim
Toronto, ON Canada - Tuesday, December 06, 2005 at 04:01:26 (EST)

Don't nag: pray!
Esther EMS Amisial Copeland <amisial2000@yahoo.com>
New York, NY USA - Friday, November 04, 2005 at 03:33:33 (EST)

Have courage enough to trust love one more time.And always one more time.
just sam
MO USA - Tuesday, May 10, 2005 at 01:23:31 (EDT)

Never argue or fight in the bedroom, this should always be a safe and happy place. Wise words from grandma married 64 years
Amanda <momluvs1234@hotmail.com>
omaha, ne USA - Tuesday, April 19, 2005 at 19:14:09 (EDT)

To Men- As many times as you can a day, try to ask yourself, "How does that make her feel?" and "How does she feel when you do/say that?" and if you don't know...ask!!!
Dan Benson <dlbenson21@hotmail.com>
Osakis, MN USA - Friday, April 01, 2005 at 14:27:22 (EST)

When my Husband and I are in a room where it is not polite to talk (such as church) we will squeeze eachother's hand three times letting the other know that the first squeeze is "I".....the second squeeze is "Love".....and the third squeeze is "You". Its a little something that we have always done. Little things that start when you date and that you keep around will help you stay strong and connected.
Tonya <Hartjar02@aol.com>
MD USA - Monday, March 21, 2005 at 20:00:22 (EST)

My Husband and I have a special thing we do EVERY Sat. night. We light candles in our bedroom. It usually leads to great intimacy but sometimes we will just hold eachother and talk. We never miss a Sat. night. Plus I am surprised by all the times he beats me to it at lighting them :)
Tonya <Hartjar02@aol.com>
MD USA - Monday, March 21, 2005 at 19:47:24 (EST)

Remember to always praise and give thanks to your spouse for even the small things they do. It will keep them doing more and they will feel appreciated even if you are still working circles around them. Praise is a more motivater than nagging.
E martinez <alexandy23@aol.com>
gfafb, nd USA - Monday, March 14, 2005 at 01:11:57 (EST)

Keep in mind that for everything that annoys you about your spouse, you probably have something that annoys them
barry <bigbarr@yahoo.com>
USA - Wednesday, September 29, 2004 at 18:11:09 (EDT)

My husband is in the Army, and it's hard for us to find time to spend with each other. The time we do have we use to wach a movie together, have a talk before going to bed...and those things seem the sweetest!
Jessica <timbyj@yahoo.com>
GA USA - Thursday, September 23, 2004 at 11:48:33 (EDT)

a marriage is never static it is fluid. The development of a marriage must include pushing the comfort zone back and seeing where the relationship could go if the time and effort put into some area of your life is put into the MARRIAGE
sudd <sudds123@aol.com>
USA - Thursday, September 16, 2004 at 16:28:24 (EDT)

Remember the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
Patty
Apopka, FL USA - Wednesday, September 15, 2004 at 18:55:09 (EDT)

Start a New Life! Find a Good Wife! A Blaze of Love will assist you in your dreams of meeting a beautiful elegant,
A blaze of love <ablazeoflove@yahoo.com>
Donetskaya obl., Ma USA - Tuesday, August 17, 2004 at 14:11:31 (EDT)

God is the center of the marriage then Compromise. Put your mate's needs first and he will do you likewise. Think they will die in a year and treat them like special loved one. At the end of that year, you can both start over again!
Pam Froelich <sweetmommacat@comcast.net>
Elkhart, IN USA - Saturday, July 17, 2004 at 23:12:22 (EDT)

Always DISCUSS THE THINGS and NOT TO ARGUE with each other. While in the discussion both parties put their own views on the matter before each other and try to understand each other's point of view and come to the best suited solution, but in the argument both try to manage that they are right in their place and they ends at where they was at the begining of the arguments or...the worst. Remember,In argument if you loose you loose but if you win then still you are a looser( In terms of your partner's love,care,faith,... good sex...even more).
Yash <raagpratik@yahoo.co.in>
India - Wednesday, June 16, 2004 at 11:49:15 (EDT)

Never Stop Dating!! Meaning Keep dating your Spouse, go out, do not sit day in and out in the house in front of the TV. Do the things you did when you were dating that were special as they still are!!
Anonymous
Sarasota, Fl USA - Saturday, March 27, 2004 at 20:25:25 (EST)

Arguing and fighting is a complete and total waste of time. Life is much too short. The winner or the loser or the reason for the fight is rarely ever remembered anyway.
It's all a grain of sand.
Carll <curelover@prodigy.net>
Cincinnati, Oh USA - Thursday, March 25, 2004 at 23:27:34 (EST)

Always tell your spouse you love them...dont let a DAY go by without saying those powerful words!!!
Barbie <LPNBarbara@webtv.net>
Sussex, NJ USA - Sunday, February 29, 2004 at 23:07:35 (EST)

My Marriage tip I guess would have to be : Never go to bed mad. Agree to disagree if you have too; Agree to discuss it in the morning. My father in law gave my husband and i this advice and it's taken us til 3am sometimes til we've either talked it out or agreed to disagreed. We've only been married about 6 yrs but its worked so far.
Erin <snootynootz@yahoo.com>
USA - Friday, January 23, 2004 at 12:40:22 (EST)

I found that one of the best tips for a successful marriage is to be able to compromise, and letting little things that annoy you about your partner slide.
Robin <rdsdmd@yahoo.com>
Toronto, can Canada - Sunday, December 28, 2003 at 14:33:45 (EST)

the future is today you can not loose your time believing for a better tommorrow that will never come.take together all the good memories because they follow you or her in the journey
of life and give you power for the things you love built your life with love and honesty so it will last for ever. Life is what we pass on to our next generation we have to see a destination throughout not ourselves but through a marriage with a woman or with GOD.
taso <kiones57@aol.com>
san francisco, ca USA - Saturday, November 22, 2003 at 04:38:25 (EST)

Anticipate your spouse's needs. When you see that look in their eyes or on their face don't ignore it and hope that it will go away. Ask and communicate.
christie raymond <christie402@msn.com>
husker, USA - Friday, October 10, 2003 at 20:54:20 (EDT)

Great tips. I can't think of any other advice to offer. You guys are good!
heather adams <hadams@mb.sympatico.ca>
pine falls, mb canada - Wednesday, August 27, 2003 at 03:02:21 (EDT)

Tip:When your husband does something you dig, like for example bringing you flowers, helping you with a chore, whatever you like, SHOW him you loved it. he will do it again ; )
danielle rice <rice17august02@aol.com>
clarksburg, wv USA - Tuesday, August 26, 2003 at 05:01:04 (EDT)

If you enjoy gifts such as flowers and your husband enjoys cuddling, tell one another and when you fulfill your end of the deal, chances are your husband will follow suit. tip from "The Five Love Languages": each of you write three or four things on a notecard that, if your spouse did them, would make you feel loved (help me mop, tell me about your day, pick up your shoes) and then let exchang cards. you cannot make your spouse change, but they will know how to make you feel loved in a simple format.
danielle rice <rice17august02@aol.com>
clarksburg, wv usa - Tuesday, August 26, 2003 at 04:57:23 (EDT)

Make sure you have your own boundaries clearly defined, it's important to keep standing up for yourself and your boundaries after you're married too.
annonymous
IA USA - Tuesday, August 19, 2003 at 11:14:50 (EDT)

IF YOU HAVE PROBLEMS OUT SIDE YOUR HOME. DO NOT TAKE THEM HOME WITH YOU. IF YOU HAVE LOVE INSIDE YOUR HOME, TAKE IT EVERYWHERE YOU GO. YOU WILL NOT HAVE TO COME BACK TO THIS PAGE AGAIN TO GET A MARRIAGE TIP. TAKE IT FROM A MAN WHO IS HAPPILY MARRIED 35 YEARS AND COUNTING.
FRED
USA - Monday, August 18, 2003 at 20:44:46 (EDT)

When you say jump, and she does, or when she says jump and you do. That's Marriage my friend......with a capital M
Carlos <carlos997@yahoo.com>
New Hyde Park, NY USA - Monday, August 18, 2003 at 19:37:33 (EDT)

Patience and communication are 2 essential ingredients to any marriage. I am 28 and have been married 10 yrs now. seems to work for us.
robyn <redavis@comcast.net>
wa USA - Wednesday, July 23, 2003 at 23:06:35 (EDT)

When you and your loved are away remember not to fight. The last thing you want is for something to happen and you never see eachother again. The last thing you want is to remember that you got into a fight and you did not tell them that you love them.
Hope <Sunflower284@aol.com>
Pelion, SC USA - Wednesday, July 02, 2003 at 20:34:34 (EDT)

Responding to the post below:
I'll believe that AFTER I've talked to your wife!
Robin Olson <robin@robinsweb.com>
USA - Saturday, May 24, 2003 at 11:47:20 (EDT)

It's very easy to outsmart women. Just do everything they say and let them win all the arguments. They don't know how to handle that. It's worked well for me for 34 years !
Commercial Real Estate
USA - Saturday, May 24, 2003 at 11:27:08 (EDT)

My husband and I recently married, and we knew from day one that we were meant to be together. My husband is my soul mate. We dated for a month and later married. I feel that when you know it is right, go for it!
Staci Zimmer <regisgrad2002@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Monday, March 31, 2003 at 05:09:49 (EST)

Do things together. Learn the activities your spouse loves and participate in them together.
Leslie <leslie_flo@excite.com>
ID USA - Wednesday, February 05, 2003 at 18:19:05 (EST)

I agree-Transperancy in marriage is good,but Ignorance can be bliss sometimes.. ...being too transperent about feelings which can bring hurt to your partner are not worth sharing!!!
sasha
USA - Friday, January 31, 2003 at 15:14:45 (EST)

I have been married for just over two years and during that time one thing i have learnt is that marriage is about compromise which can only be achieved through true love and respect for your partner.
Tracey <zelma60@hotmail.com>
UK - Wednesday, January 15, 2003 at 12:49:37 (EST)

Love begins when you sink into his arms...........and ends with your arms in his sink!
Karen
mi USA - Tuesday, December 10, 2002 at 07:15:32 (EST)

When your having an argument or disagreement - remember one word - Compromise! if both partners always remember that word getting through a disagreement can be a breeze. Also, its helpful to always say your sorry! NO MATTER WHAT - even if you dont think what you did was wrong, just remember if it upset or hurt your partners feelings then you owe them an apology.
Angel <ajmhaddad@yahoo.com>
Dearborn, MI USA - Saturday, November 09, 2002 at 15:20:44 (EST)

SOMETIMES IT IS BETTER TO GO TO BED MAD BECAUSE IT IS HARD TO FIND A SOLUTION TO A PROBLEM WHEN BOTH PARTIES ARE ANGRY. THINGS USUALLY LOOK BETTER IN THE MORNING LIGHT.
MICHELLE <MRSMCAMPBELL@HOTMAIL.COM>
FOREST PARK, GA USA - Friday, October 11, 2002 at 09:45:51 (EDT)

Humm! You see your wife pressing her clothes, managing her purse, looking for her sun glasses at night? She must be getting ready for important work or meeting tomorrow. You whisper to your self. Now, if you had woken up the next morning to make her breakfast, and wanted to make sure that she gets up at whatever time she had to, yet she had not asked you for any of this, you do not need "Tips" for successful marriage. On the other hand, if you woke the next morning and found out that your wife is gone already, you my friend, are not yet married, you are just living with a womwn you don't know, and she is living with a man she doesn't. I hope you get my drift.
Raza <email@samraza.com>
Karachi, pakistan - Thursday, October 10, 2002 at 20:18:54 (EDT)

ALWAYS remember: you are on the same team!!
Leslie McK
Oklahoma City, OK USA - Saturday, October 05, 2002 at 15:07:42 (EDT)

The first requirement of a good marriage is that both parties have to "want to be married". People could probably fall in love with hundreds of people in the world. However, you mad the decision to be married to this person. Marriage is a commitment for a life time, and you have to "want" to be married. Second, I heard someone else say after 45 years of successful marriage that the reason it worked was that they were lucky enough to not "fall out of Love" with each other at the same time. We all have bad days, and sometimes really feel that maybe we don't love the other person. But this is just the down hill of the roller coaster ride before we know that we do love. We all know that a wedding ring is round because it reprents the never ending love a married couple shares, otherwise if we looked at marriage as just that point in time, we'd just get a "dot" on our hand. A friend had a brilliant idea. Instead of wedding rings, people should be required to get a tattoo of a wedding ring on their finger. Then, they would think about it a little more carefully and understand the commitment before going forward, instead of today's culture that seams to think, "Oh well, if it doesn't work, I'll get divorced." This is not "wanting to be married", and if you think this way, you are not ready for a relationship.
Janet <thejohnsons75094@mchsi.com>
Burlington, IA USA - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 17:13:04 (EDT)

i forgot to mention a very important tip always tell them how much they mean to you!!!! I LOVE YOU JOE RAY... YOU MEAN THE WORLD TO ME... ALWAYS AND FOREVER!!!
ashlee morris <ashlee3182>
tx USA - Sunday, July 21, 2002 at 21:38:36 (EDT)

remember that nobody is perfect, not even you. only god can truely help, save and support a marriage. you have to trust in him as well as your partner. never give up!! always remember the golden rule "do unto others as you would have them do unto you". it can be wonderful, trust me. i wish everyone the best and you are in my prayers. love is the key, but god is the answer.
ashlee morris <ashlee3182>
tx USA - Sunday, July 21, 2002 at 21:31:56 (EDT)

if u like someone and she/he too knows about it and feel shy to say I LOVE U then the other person may help him/her so that his/her feeling may comes out
SANJAY SAREEN <sanjay_sareen_1@yahoo.com>
new delhi, india - Sunday, July 21, 2002 at 07:18:03 (EDT)

dont lose ur confidence and have patiences , if problems encounter during bulitups relations and soon it will solve by urs mutual understanding
SANJAY SAREEN <sanjay_sareen_1@yahoo.com>
new delhi, india - Sunday, July 21, 2002 at 07:14:22 (EDT)

MARRIAGE IS WHEN YOU HAVE TAKEN THE VOW TO HONOR, AND CHERIS EACH OTHER IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH. THE TRUE TEST IS WHEN ONE OF YOU GET SICK, AND THE OTHER LIVES UP TO HIS END OF THE BARGAIN, AND IS THERE TO STAND BY YOU NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS
DARLENE <JEEPERS152>
TIV, R.I. USA - Wednesday, June 26, 2002 at 20:08:35 (EDT)

When your husband comes home from work, always greet him with a kiss and a smile.
Vicky
USA - Wednesday, March 27, 2002 at 22:10:35 (EST)

Always give your spouse a kiss and tell them you love them before you leave the house because who knows if it will be the last thing either of you do again.
Kristina <kdan2k2@aol.com>
USA - Friday, March 08, 2002 at 23:53:14 (EST)

"you know when a marriage is really working when you throw your knickers at a wall ,.....and they stick there!!!!" so remember,you young people,lifes there to enjoy,but try not to disobey your local Reverend.
PAT KINDER MD. <meligrin3@hotmail.com>
manchester, united kingdom - Sunday, February 24, 2002 at 04:19:52 (EST)

marriage can be either like a fine wine ,or like a rotten old piece of chicken.the challenge is to enhance their good points until they would be acceptable enough to serve at your thanksgiving meal,,,PRAISE JESUS,AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
lucy van bhooter <sunbeetle2@hotmail.com>
MELBOURNE, VICTORIA AUSTRALIA - Sunday, February 24, 2002 at 04:12:49 (EST)

Go into your dating with eyes wide open. Go into your marriage with eyes shut. Open you eyes to the things you like, shut you eyes to things that piss you off!
Kensic
San Clemente, Ca USA - Thursday, January 31, 2002 at 12:21:44 (EST)

Remember EVERYONE has flaws you just have to find the person with the flaws you can tolerate. No one is perfect!
Ashley <Lovepink28@aol.com>
Baltimore, MD USA - Wednesday, January 30, 2002 at 01:48:49 (EST)

married as teenagers - been married 46 years - raised 4 kids Saying "I love you" is important - Living "I love you" is more important. Every day have some cuddle time -
lila <lgrummet@altelco.net>
mi USA - Sunday, January 20, 2002 at 13:48:54 (EST)

Choose your battles wisely.
Edna <stanandedna@hotmail.com>
Waterloo, ON Canada - Tuesday, January 15, 2002 at 14:49:52 (EST)

My Grandmother always told me a marriage needs three things, good food, good communication and good sex. So far that has worked for us.
Lori <labl1@aol.com>
Colonial Heights, VA USA - Saturday, December 08, 2001 at 09:38:19 (EST)

Pray for your spouse! But be ready to be changed by those prayers yourself. God is a God of Miracles!
Tracy Funk <elliottfunk@sk.sympatico.ca>
Regina, Sk Canada - Thursday, September 06, 2001 at 01:05:37 (EDT)

Keep your marriage fresh by discovering something new about your partner each day. The discovery might be as little as a grey hair or it might be as significant as realizing that you made the right choice when you married your partner and best friend.
OTISA NIXON-JONES <ONIXON@FUSE.NET>
CINCINNATI, OH USA - Sunday, July 15, 2001 at 08:12:20 (EDT)

Marriage is made in Heaven but you have to do your own maintainence
Daphne Bergland <mjbdsb@home.com>
USA - Wednesday, May 30, 2001 at 13:31:17 (EDT)

The only marital counseling you will ever need can be summed up in three words: "Don't be selfish!"
Nancy
Akron, oh USA - Tuesday, May 15, 2001 at 15:11:07 (EDT)

never say your wife has a fat arse, even if you think she does AND never say that you think her mother has a fat arse!
Milton Keene <milton@yahoo.com>
london, UK - Monday, April 23, 2001 at 12:53:42 (EDT)

Sharing your life with someone is no easy task! You need to realize that everything you do reflects upon the other person and act accordingly! The marriage needs to come first, before work, children or anything else. The children will grow up and leave home, and you will still be left with the marriage!
Rene <rgb2001@home.com>
Phoenix, AZ USA - Thursday, March 01, 2001 at 20:55:11 (EST)

Robin, thanks for emailing me back. Your advice was well taken.
Anonymous
USA - Monday, January 29, 2001 at 11:55:23 (EST)

Only live together after you get engaged. He will not "pop the question" otherwise.
been there <no>
USA - Sunday, August 13, 2000 at 11:38:55 (EDT)

"The grass is NOT always greener on the other side!" Listen to you're heart. After two failed marriages, I'm finally happily married to the man I was engaged to 30 years ago. That's a lot of wasted time!
Angelicbird <mika_us_2000@yahoo.com>
OH USA - Wednesday, March 22, 2000 at 16:37:28 (EST)

Try to stay out of in-law problems. It's okay if your wife says bad things about her mother, but don't agree (out loud) with her.
Nick
USA - Tuesday, January 04, 2000 at 11:36:07 (EST)

Never go to bed angry at each other. Try to work it out before you say goodnight.
a person
USA - Monday, January 03, 2000 at 11:56:24 (EST)

I almost married a man who SAID he was a Christian, but I always had a feeling in my gut that he was just "going along" with my beliefs and actions sI would marry him. I did, of course, find out about his insinserity, and knew I could not trust him. I broke off our engagement. People thought I was nuts, said he was a "good catch". I knew it would never work, I need someone I can trust, and who shares the same passions and beliefs. I am hoping and praying that there IS a "Mr. Right" out there somewhere!
Sherry
USA - Monday, January 03, 2000 at 11:27:28 (EST)

Know when to say when. It's okay to accept the fact that a marriage is a failure, even if both have plowed through years of marriage and family counseling. Do not stay in a marriage "for the sake of the children." They don't need to experience this sort of pain. If it cannot be fixed, it may just be that it _cannot_ be fixed. Learn to leave.

Say something nice (and mean it) every day - a compliment goes a very long way and is carried wherever the recipient may go!
Submitted by: Joanna

Compliment your husband on all the positive things he does for you, your family and friends. Sometimes we wives forget to praise our hubbies and they might feel neglected. After all, some of them are just big boys.
Submitted by: Evelyn Schubert, Leonia, NJ

Instead of criticizing your mate, look within yourself to find ways that YOU can change. Someone once told me, "If you can't change your situation, change your perspective." It is quite true, when you are focused on how you can change yourself, you're not so focused on what your mate is doing wrong. And most likely, they will notice your change and follow suit.

Talk to each other.Keep the lines of communications open, even when you're upset with him/her.
Submitted by: Mike McBenge (learned this the hard way!!)

Always try to give more than 50%- if you're busy "keeping score", chances are you're thinking too much about yourself ...It's worked for us for 25 years.
Anonymous submission.

It is perfectly natural to get married, but marriage is never naturally perfect.
Submitted by: Flint

Make sure that you don't marry someone for everything that they have. It is important to be aware of the things that they don't.
Submitted by: Victor Doorknocker

This is all true.Marriage is unity, togetherness,and try to talk your problems with one another.And live close to God.
Submitted by: suew40601@yahoo.com

Get each other little presents..have been married almost 20 years..and I found a little bag of candy under my pillow last night.
Submitted by: sunwalker6

Marriage life should be organised between to people which are wife and husband, not with other relative say brother, sister, father or mother ect. These people may be consulted if there will be need to do so.
Submitted by: Susan Nking'wa

All negitive emotion is based in FEAR.So,if you find that you are angry.Take a minute to ask yourself what YOU FEAR. When you get that answer,understanding will replace the anger.
Submitted by: PaulafromAl@webtv.net

Don't never get to the point you can't talk things out between you both.Communication is VERY IMPORTANT.
Submitted by: Kathy

Don't fret over the little things that happen on the trip....just remember you are there to love until the end of the journey
Submitted by: Carolyn G. Hunter

marriage takes three = GOD first, a bendable man, and a bandable woman all with communication and desire for one another.
Submitted by: kelly eggers

FORGIVE - After being wronged, we all want to "get even." But it's impossible to move ahead with our lives until we've learned to put the past behind us. &nbsp;-Anonymous submission

Keep the camp fire equipment handy-hot dogs and marshmallows!!! Don't forget the mustard, ketchup and the buns. Last but not least the matches! &nbsp;Give the flic of the bic to any and all intruders!
Submitted by: An 'Ol Mae West Fan!

Always be best friends.

Start out like you can hold out. Submitted by: Kathy Pool

Have patience. ("This too shall pass"). Talking about trouble of course. Stay with it. &nbsp;Submitted by: Kay Brown

Don't compare your spouse with any other man/woman...you had your opportunity to compare while you both were courting. Now that you have become one with him/her, embrace their differences, quirks and smirks...and SMILE at each other...I mean really SMILE!
Submitted by: Rosha B. Kirby

Love will not sustain your marriage, but your marriage covenant will sustain your love for one another.

Love believes the best.

Never go to bed mad. Always get rid of the anger so it doesn't fester inside and eat you alive.

It is true that your partner should accept you as you are, but it is also true that you have a moral obligation to better yourself for your own benefit which in turn benefits the relationship, being open to genuine constructive criticism, and staying motivated to looking after your health, your fitness and to keep the communication and the right attitude about sex, shutting down that part of yourself and expecting a partner to accept that is unfair and some men and women don't realize how much fun sex can be if they allow themselves to overcome negative attitudes about sex, it really is the ultimate way to express love &nbsp;Submitted by: hope hernandez

There is no room for selfishness in a marriage, I learned that the hard way....Make him/her your best friend!

Always stay each others best friend.

You have to be happy about yourself and feel good about yourself,
before you can be happy with another. Submitted by: Wanda J. Smith, MSW

Enjoy your life together "One Day at a Time" this does not mean "don't make plans" But to enjoy Who and Where you are today. My husband had been married before for 14yrs, I had a child by a prior relationship. He wanted guarentees, I wouldn't make a promise I was not 100% sure I could keep. "LET ME LOVE YOU ONE DAY AT A TIME" was a Hallmark book I found, and gave him Valentines Day 1981, we married July 1982. Now he is an invalid due to a stroke, and I am his caregiver, One day at a time has become even more important!!

Never yell at each other (unless the house is on fire.)
-I received that tip from the lady who printed my
wedding invitations in 1990. &nbsp;Apparently my future husband
wasen't listening, because he is now my ex-husband.
Submitted by: alhm@bellsouth.net

Marry your best friend in the whole world, there is more to marriage then sex... If your mate is your best friend then, you'll always cherish being with that person regardless of the situation... Besides when you are best friends, then you are more apt to give of yourself, and not as inclined to take of the other... God's Love Submitted by: someone not perfect...

LOVE each other. Really. Do not let tiny things get in the way of that love. Think back to when you let NOTHING come between you, and then think about it some more, and the next time you feel like reading your significant other the riot act, well, remember the days when NOTHING could come between you, and think about whether getting all bent because he didn't put the trash out or she didn't do all the dishes or whatever, and ask yourself: IS THIS WORTH IT? If you would not have said that in the first 3 months you were together, then do not say it now. ;-)
Submitted by: Kimberly

If your spouse punches you in the face -divorce him right away.
If your boyfriend cries when you tell him your first husband punched you in the face, marry him. Submitted by: Anonymous, but finally happily married

Keep all lines of communication open and remember that your spouse is your best friend.Anonymous submission.

Don't worry about the little things. They don't matter.
Anonymous submission.

When in a dispute hold hands. Submitted by: Mr. Jolin Take

Take&nbsp;time for each other.
Don't be afraid to say "I love you".
Try to be aware of how your spouse is feeling emotionally.
Listen more and talk less.
Submitted by: Debra J. Fellows

If he's great treat him that way. If he's not there's always someone out there who is. Submitted by: LUCKY WOMAN

I recently got married after waiting 22 years to remarry. We are now heading towards our second anniversary. We live 742 miles apart, and that in itself can be hurtful to a marriage. We both have the same goals, and life's expectations. We are best friends. We contact each other continuously, no matter where we are. We discuss everything that concerns the two of us. We hug a lot, and we tell each other we love the other, and that is important. We laugh together, and we go for milkshakes at midnight. We walk to eat out, and we talk as we walk. We sit on our boat at night in the Florida Keys, and we drink coffee, watch the stars, or the lightening!! We talk, laugh, and we discuss. We allow the other to do what they must to be happy. We are dive partners, and he might play chess for hours here online, while I read or simply head to bed!!! We respect each other, and that is very very important, and Jealousy has no place in our marriage, and being committed and knowing one cannot change the other is very important. You married each other for better and worse, and what you see is what you get. It takes 150 percent of each to make it work.....that is 100 from both with another 100 combined!!! Sharing is important, and even if its a trip to the hardware store, go together, laughing all the way. Watching movie marathons, or sharing something else you both enjoy is important. Above all, give, forgive, and love your spouse. Go for those midnight milkshakes!!! &nbsp;&nbsp;
Submitted by: Bobbie Helms-EagleCloud


Only marry if you BOTH are COMMITTED !
remember commitments are made to be kept... also read...
Men are From Mars and Women are From Venus ... and ... Intimate Issues... two books that will help everyone who loves their spouse.
Submitted by: MetaRose@aol.com


Don't never get to the point you can't talk things out between you both.Communication is VERY IMPORTAINT.
Submitted by: Kathy

If there is something that you wonder you should tell your mate, don't hesitate, don't just hope it will go away...will only be thought as trying to hide something...there goes trust.

Remember your partner can't read your mind - if there is a problem explain it and feel the weight drop of your shoulders.
Anonymous submission.

Don't make the kids a priority over the spouse.
In a blink of an eye, the kids are gone... Submitted by: Sheri

Be understanding when your new husband wants to go fishing on your honeymoon! :) Submitted by: susan n.

1. Expect pain, and don't be surprised when it comes.

2. Do not focus on your pain, but rather meditate
on the good things with which God has blessed you.

You have a spouse who loves you, in a day when many
are lonely. If you have children, it is your
honour to teach them about the world.

It is in the working through life's turmoil
together with your spouse and in the overcoming
of it together that you find the true meaning
of "true love".

In short, focus on the many blessings with which
you have been supplied. Count yourself a lucky
man/woman - Have eyes to see the abundant mercies
that are given to you every day.

To the men,

Love your wives like Jesus loved us all - through
servanthood, and by dying in our place that we might
all live full lives.

There is no greater joy than building a lady up.

She will love you for it.

To the women,

Remember your worth in the sight of God - you are one
for whom Christ gave his life - such a person is
not unimportant. If you are blessed with a Christian
man who will love you with the love of a christian
servant - do not despise him for it, rather
cherish him.

Anyway, that's my $0.02
Submitted by: David Buddrige

Keeping a God centered marriage is only way. Marriage is not an easy thing and many marriages fail. Through commitment to God and family, it is easier to continue with a strong, unified relationship. Especially after the flame has started to grow a little less hot. Submitted by: Mrs. Tom Werstler

When you marry, make sure it is to your best friend.
Submitted by: Tony

Listen to Dr. Laura regularly. Anonymous submission.

Never criticize your spouse... there is no such thing as "constructive criticism" in marriage. Accept your spouse for what he/she IS. Don't dwell on what he/she IS NOT. Submitted by: S. Mitchum


In trying to change someone, think first about how much you could really handle living with someone just like you!
Submitted by: Kelli


We took family vacations when the boys were little, and found plenty of time to be alone...under a blanket watching TV, etc...lots of tickling, sexual inuendos, and general foreplay. Now, that the boys are grown, a jacuzzi weekend works great with back rubs, a little wine for two, some bubbles, and a great sense of humor works well to get back in touch (in many ways). Communicate, communicate, communicate! Submitted by: Jann
(married 27 great years to John and looking forward to many more!)

The key to understanding your partner=COMMUNICATION!

Choose someone with whom you share a COMMON INTEREST!
Common interests give you reasons to spend time together, making your life happier and your marriage bonds stronger. Where's the togetherness if he spends every weekend on the golf course, while she spends them browsing antique markets? If you love to dance (or swim, or play tennis, or .....) DON'T choose a spouse who refuses to even learn --
unless you want to spend the rest of your life watching other people do what you'd love to do. &nbsp;Submitted by: Helene Krongold


Forgiveness-learn how to do it, and learn how to ask for it.
We're all human after all. &nbsp;Submitted by: Mark

A marriage is not a means of escape from the problems that surround you. I cannot count the number of people who see marriage as a way to escape a broken home, a boring life, a mediocre existence. Resolve your own personal problems before you marry. If you ARE in a marriage, unhappy, and you married to escape something, then the first step to getting a healthy marriage is to take time to fix yourself first. &nbsp;Only then will you have a chance at making your own marriage work.
Submitted by: Droops

An old saying I heard once:
"To keep your marriage brimming, With love in every cup -
Whenever you're wrong, ADMIT IT,
Whenever you're right, SHUT UP!
Submitted by: Laura

Actually my husband and I agree that is is BETTER to go to bed angry if you are arguing because you are both tired.
A good way to tell (if you are are too tired)
is that you are arguing over the empty ice-cube tray,
or something stupid like that :)
Submitted by: Laurie

Find the one you love---love the one you found.
Submitted by: Texillkan@aol.com

1. Budget the luxuries first. 2. Don't fart under the covers.
Submitted by: Pogo

Never marry until the rose colored glasses are removed,
because if you do, when they finally fall off, you will be very surprised in what you see! Love them anyway, you said "I do" Submitted by: Robin Michelle

Allow each other to do things "their way" instead
of always "our way". You might actually learn something to do something the "best way" together. &nbsp;Submitted by: Wendy

Consideration in a marriage may mean taking a wing
instead of a drumstick!! &nbsp;Submitted by: Kim

Listen to one anothers feelings, and always be open and honest, even though the other might not agree with what you're trying to say.
Submitted by: Christina M.

Look for the inner beauty, too many people marry for the Physical beauty ...it's dangerous !!! Submitted by: Marcel

Make sure you marry someone you like. Your partner should also be your friend. Submitted by: Kathy

Without TRUST and RESPECT love isn't enough!
Submitted by: Shelly

Don't ruin Sundays. Sundays are often the clearest memories your children and your spouse will have. Make them WONDERFUL! (I should know, I had horrible Sundays and I'll never inflict them on my future family, so help me God!) Anonymous submission

A successful marriage is an equal balance of give and take. Don't always lay down the law stating how right you are and how wrong your opposite is, even if you are right. Instead, give a little, lay out what was right in the other persons actions. Compare what they have/will have done to what you have/will have done. 9 times out of 10, they too will see your plan develop and note the flaws of theirs, and vice versa.
Submitted by: Theresa Bail

Never expect your partner to read your mind. If you need him to do something, say something or perhaps do nothing then tell him this immediately. Don't ever blame him for not doing what you never told him to do. Submitted by: Melinda

Marriage resembles a pair of shears, so joined that they cannot be separated; often moving in opposite directions, yet always punishing anyone who comes between them Submitted by: S. Smith


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